exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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