yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
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I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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