her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Randomize
