unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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