I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
