dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
