From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
