i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
