I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
