i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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