I wish my penis had an off switch
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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