im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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