9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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