I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize