Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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