shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Randomize
