Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize