just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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