he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
