It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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