you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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