if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
