so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
