I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
