So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
