i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Randomize
