WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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