My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
