i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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