no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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