She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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