I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
