4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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