Whod you bang
okay pat passed out under dana's car
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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