6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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