So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
