tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
