Got a toothbrush?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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