Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
