i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
