I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
