Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
well you can't waste a boner
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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