dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Where is the hickey?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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