She said her name was "party"
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
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I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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