She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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