I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she looked like the before picture.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What drink are we having for lunch?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
