JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize