i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
