How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
