he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
