I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He shit in the fireplace
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
