Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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