when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Randomize
