My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
