did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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