Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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