What did we do last night that was yellow?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
