Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
