Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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