it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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