I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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